Posts Tagged 'sga'

“The secret is: they never get back together. Rodney never apologizes. John dates Ronon.” Sorry, I’m a little confused, because Rodney did apologize at the end, and John was already dating Ronon by that point… Are you referring to Proximity Theory maybe?

Perhaps it’s more accurate to say: to me, that apology hardly counts, so it wouldn’t count to me – I just went and looked it up again because I remember as I was writing it I was hissing, “Jesus fucking Christ, Rodney,” under my breath and YEP, it’s a terrible apology. 

But I mean that for Proximity Theory, too. Basically both of those stories are just festering wounds of unhappiness etc etc etc. 

…I was in college. It was a time and a place, okay? 


Directional Theory? (I loved that. It still breaks my heart every time I read it.)

The secret is: they never get back together. Rodney never apologizes. John dates Ronon. I’m a monster, I know.

would you do Earthside?

The duo of Earthside SGA stories I think were among the best things I wrote in that fandom, and also part of what I was calling my “slow slide into gen.” The secret is: in my head, those stories live in a world where John and Rodney never hook up.

Bang Dammit now that I thought the title I have to go reread it.

Bang is part of a collection of stories that were written during an earlier iteration of fandom, so the central joke of it, the vocab in it – all of it would be verboten today. I think the reason I get as little hate for that story as I do is because it’s older, and a bit grandfathered in with like, due South fanfic or Sentinal stuff, and also that it’s not prominently in peoples’ minds. I end up thinking about stuff like this a lot, about changing social mores and the more extreme changing social mores and vocabulary in fandom especially. Bang, among other stories I wrote a decade or more ago, share a lot of so-called problematic elements that I could probably go back and re-edit, but the idea of it feels…I don’t know, inauthentic? Disingenuous? An attempt to kick some dust over a progression that came slowly, but that shows in the work? It’d feel like going back through my earliest fanfiction with the defter hand I have now to smooth out the ordinary rough edges of bad writing, even, and that would feel like hiding. I guess this is all to say, Bang is a reminder that I will take my bumps sometimes because I have a long and publicly accessible writing history on the internet. 

Cartography of Touch! Uh, hi. Been a fan for a long time :)

Cartography by Touch (and History of Maps) were two stories I treated like therapy. They were difficult to write. Many people who have read them have told me, “These were agonizing to read,” and I always think to myself, “I know. I’m really sorry. These are agonizing for me to read, too.”

Sky Full Of?

I HATE THE ENDING TO THIS STORY. Not the actual things that happen, which were meant to happen anyway, but I hate how compressed and slapdash it reads to me. Sky Full Of was written my personal 14 Valentines challenge (for the people who hated that I wrote slash for 14 Valentines: I don’t want to get into it), and I remember jamming the final pieces of that story out at fucking who knows what o’clock and never being satisfied with it. I always vowed to go back and rework, but then college graduation, work and life intervened. It’s a shame, but it was instructive as well in hindsight.

Hindsight? ^^

Hindsight was the first of my stories to become really well read.

Naturally, this meant that it was also the first of my stories to get ripped to pieces by the internet. 

The whole thing went down while I was on this hellish trip from Beijing back home to the U.S. after spending nine months of school/work there, and what had started of as 17 hours of flights + layovers had turned into 20+ hours of flights + layovers + delays + suitcase exploded + lost my passport in San Francisco International Airport + got screamed at by my dad (see my earlier reply re: Disentanglement) = me sobbing in the backseat of my father’s car with a sweatshirt over my head because I hadn’t slept in more than a day and was so upset – only to come home and find a story I had written was being picked to pieces. I think I was…19? 20 at the time? 

In hindsight (HAH), it’s – not funny, exactly, but it was illuminating, and it taught me some valuable lessons about never engaging, because the minute you speak out in your defense you’ve lost your only source of higher ground and self-defense: your silence. 


East Coast Gazette has a terrible editorial focus and tends to use a lot of ALL CAPS but TOTALLY NOT BECAUSE OF HARRY POTTER. Stories in progress as well as snapshots will be listed in the "box full of snapshots" below, website archive for stories and assorted tomfoolery is glitterati.

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