Archive for the 'kdrama' Category

I am seven episodes into Witch Amusement — it’s going badly. I mean, for my soul.

Midway through episode six, I turned to my mother (who is possibly more into this show than I am given the earnestness of her pleas for me to provide more source to her NOW NOW FIVE MINUTES AGO NOW) and said, “Okay, so basically, the only couple in this show I like is Chef and Moo Ryong.”

There’s just one little catch:

Dial-up warning for below the cut: heavy image-whoring.

Continue reading ‘I am seven episodes into Witch Amusement — it’s going badly. I mean, for my soul.’

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I love bad (and sometimes good) Asian dramas. It’s a disease, God damn you all!

It all started when, the summer of my junior year of high school, my father brought home something called “Meteor Garden.”

(There are about 2394872393478343 of you with Asian backgrounds who just gasped and said, “Meteor Garden! That one stole my Asian drama virginity! And then when it finally did call, it was like it’d gotten worse in the sack instead of better!” As somebody who concluded that abusive relationship on my living room couch middle of my senior year sobbing my eyes out at the end of “Meteor Garden II” all I can say is: yes, yes I know.)

I’d seen Asian TV before — no second generation Chinese kid has managed to completely escape the Chinese New Year countdown variety show, and no one should: it’s good Communist motherland TV for us to grow glorious in our heathen American ways! — but you know, I’d never seen hot Asian guys. I pretty much thought there was something wrong with the Asian Y chromosome (well, something MORE wrong) — we will not speak of the One Who Was Hit On By Construction Workers, And Then Was Foolish Enough To Call To Tell Me About It, And Was Somehow Surprised When I Made Asian Twink Jokes For About A Thousand Years.

Anyway, the point was:

Then along came my Future Husband, whom my entire family — I’m not making this up, it’s entirely too embarrassing to be a joke — now actually refers to exclusively as The Future Son-In-Law. We work on the theory that Vic Zhou loves me, he just doesn’t know it yet, and as soon as he realizes — our eyes will meet across the white-lit showroom of a Ferrari dealership; he will be buying another speed toy, I will be stalking him — we will touch one another inappropriately and have somewhat less than optimally attractive babies because I’m bringing down our average, but I’m sure he’ll love me enough to forgive me.

That was it folks. I realized that China, Taiwan, Korea, and indeed even Japan (who else watched that wretch-awful and yet still unspeakably amazing “Majou no Jouken“? Don’t lie. It changed your life, shut up. And you’ll never be able to listen to Utada Hikaru’s “First Love,” ever again) dramas! They were…melodramatic. They had…sometimes horrifyingly poor production values. Couples expressed their eternal love and simmering sexual tension by not touching one another at all — kissing was all fake and awkward looking! Guys, it was a brand new world and I was all over it like cheap perfume on a Lindsey Lohan hanger-oner.

And now, I spend a lot of time watching Korean dramas, mostly because there’s a huge abundance of them, which helps because 90 percent of them have some sort of abusive relationship that would have, and I quote a conversation I had with somebody the other day “slapping the motherfucking life out of the man who was shoving me into the wall and then flinging his scrawny ass, 30 lbs dripping wet body out of a window.” (Who else “My Name Is Kim Sam Soon through the rage blackouts?)

At the moment, the two that have captured my attention are Witch Amusement, starring some adorable faces we might remember from “Goong” and some adorable faces we might remember from “My Name is Kim Sam Soon” who could not act in that drama to save his blessed life, but who was pretty to look at!. And also the concurrently airing “The Devil,” starring universally agreed cross-gender hawt-ass my future man slave of sexual plaything-ness. (I’m not kidding. I will fight all of Korea for him. Don’t worry: Vic knows how to share.)

Just be prepared — there might be episode reviews. I have to talk about this sickness with somebody.

Oh, and because you’ve all been so good to read the whole damn thing — gratuitous eye meat!

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(For more mansluttishness of the Joo Ji Hoon (twink cowboy) variety go here — for more mansluttishness of the look don’t touch because he is mine and we are going to have babies and I am not kidding, I would fight Korea for Joo Ji Hoon but I will fight the entire continent of Asia for Future Husband, go here.)

For those of you who are new (and I mean really new): I have a thing about Asian guys. It’s not a nice thing.

And I’m not saying this from a bigoted perspective here — I both share genes and given them a ride (SORT OF NOT IN THE FILTHY WAY. MAYBE. GOD STOP JUDGING ME) in my time and it has taught me two things about my perspective on relationships: (1) I have to be the prettier one; when your MALE PARTNER has finer skin, shinier, softer hair, and gets cat-called by construction workers more (I’m not making this part up; God damn Philip anyway), that is a bad sign and (2) I cannot stand Asian Boy Personality Disorder. I’m pretty sure the latter is a slow-fading disease, but at the moment, it still plagues only children and older sons, mothers who think that by virtue of their offspring’s dick it’s okay not to teach them how to be humans — this fails on multiple levels, including the one where I deck your kid. The point is: I have a thing about Asian guys, insofar as I vowed at the crone-ly age of 17 years never to date one again.

However, I have to say, if I ever met this piece, I would be hard pressed to turn down his obviously prettier than I personality disordered ass. And I mean ass. Let’s not try to be deep here. But guys, damn.

I’m celebwhoring like nobody’s business tonight — catching up on the multitude of Korean dramas that have come out since I last binged on them like an America’s Next Top Model contestant after Tyra has shown ALL BUT HER PHOTOGRAPH and she has left the house with none but sundry shames IMMEDIATELY. And anybody who fell ass over teakettle over Goong and felt possibly a little torn between you know, Shin and Yul (DON’T BE ASHAMED. WE’LL START A CLUB. I CAN MAKE MEMBERSHIP CARDS) is sure to be biting their nails when they, like I, realized that THOSE TWO HAWT-ASSES ARE AT IT AGAIN! Now they’re competing in rival drama, instead of in the same one, but since The Devil sounds like it might be heavy as opposed to filled with zaniness, I will be giving Yul’s (yes, I know that’s not the actor’s name) a chance first.

Also, your dumb anime screencaps of the day:

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I have to say immediately and in my defense that I am seriously not shitting you. These are in the closing sequence of “Princess Princess” and are totally not my fault. It’s not like I could have psychically known to send them email saying shit like, “Can you make Yuujirou and Tohru pose all super gay like?” In Japan, these things, they just happen — just like they did to Ban and Ginji for “Getbackers.”

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THESE ARE ALL OFFICIAL ART PEOPLE. I mean, at least they made Ginji (blond) an honest boy. First comes tipping your man partner on the floor, second comes you know…a lot of inappropriate touching and chains and lastly of course comes marriage. Did I mention this was official art? For a comic series FOR BOYS? GOD. NO WONDER JAPAN’S BIRTH RATES ARE SO LOW. MEDIA IS MAKING THEM ALL GAY.


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