I’m trying not to think about how sad it is that I have like, a barometer of media related homosexuality.

Ya’ll, I am seriously only 12 episodes into this NCIS nonsense and really? Really really? Are you kidding me guys? I realized around episode four that Doris Egan was in the producing credits and I was like, “That makes sense. The magical light of gay must follow her like a trail of fairydust wherever she goes.”

The point is, my initial decision to watch NCIS as my procedural drama du jour has been both vindicated and proven poor decision making: it’s not exactly a procedural drama, but on the other hand, it’s quite charming in its own respect — I like the of the crotchety boss who secretly adores his crew, and his mouthy crew who secretly wants to sneak into their boss (Gibbs’) basement and set the boat he’s working on aflame. There’s something so sweet about it all. And oh yeah, THE SHOCKING SCADS OF GAY. I had to rewatch some stuff in blind shock because I was like, “There is no way.” Sadly, there is a way, and in episode 1×06 “High Seas,” DiNozzo (MICHAEL “SHOCKINGLY HAWT” WEATHERLY BY THE WAY) spends the entire time sullen and jealous because Gibbs (MARK HARMON BY THE WAY) is nicer to an ex-employee than he is to DiNozzo — or so DiNozzo thinks.

D: was the face I made when I saw this exchange:

TONY (DINOZZO): You know, in the two years I’ve worked for Gibbs, he’s never shaken my hand once. Never.

STAN BURLEY: I was in the office two years before he even looked me in the eye.

TONY: Really?

STAN BURLEY: Yeah. Three years before he called me by name. Four, till he got it right. By then, I’d actually gotten used to ‘Steve’.

TONY: Huh.

STAN BURLEY: He must really like you.

(pulled from Shadow Anthology episode transcripts)

MY SOUL. GUYS, MY SOUL. Let’s not forget the fond, 5:20 a.m. phone calls from DiNozzo to wake up “Boss” — weeping, I’m weeping here, folks — and how he asks, all affectionate, “Did you fall asleep under that boat you’re working on again?” And Gibbs is all like, “…No.” And DiNozzo is like, “Come on, I recognize the sound of the Morning Farm Report, and the only TV you have in your house is in the basement.” And then there might have been more but I was busy having a little lie down because when you’ve watched like 12 episodes of a boss slapping his young, attractive boytoy subordinate in the back of the head as a disciplinary measure for looking at women, sometimes you need a lie down.

Let me just reinforce to you why I am feeling this pain that I am feeling:

This is Anthony DiNozzo, former Baltimore cop, scion of a wealthy family but obviously got cut off somewhere in the interlude because when his boiler explodes, he has to beg around his coworkers for a place to stay — or PERHAPS that was just a clever way to find his way back into Gibbs’ house! The point is, he’s beautiful and an inveterate flirt and beautiful and he’s hilarious and I kind of wish he’d be my douchebag ex-boyfriend who I still see (a) so he can tell me how hot I am and (b) because he’s kind of good eye-meat himself, you know?

Yeah, that’s DiNozzo waking up with an iguana. I don’t know. All I can say is that Google Imagesearch is a dangerous place my friends — walk carefully.

But more importantly:

That is DiNozzo with Gibbs. Who is his boss. Who is Mark Harmon. Who I have been perving on since the beginning of time, it feels like. Who drew me back into watching the West Wing after ages of feeling betrayed and abandoned during his short run as a Secret Service Agent assigned to CJ in that show who then MADE ME CRY LIKE A MOFO when he was gunned down in a God damned convenience store — and then I broke up with West Wing all over again. It was hard for me. Let’s look at Mark Harmon some more BECAUSE HE IS ALIVE AND NOT A DEAD SECRET SERVICE AGENT I HATE YOU WEST WING:

This was when it got hard — I was initially just looking for screencaptures of Gibbs smacking DiNozzo upside the back of the head, which I find simultaneously adorable and kind of uh hot(t) you know, in a yeah, you better keep me in line sort of UH ANYWAY, but then I kept pulling up all of these YouTube clips — which is how this business all started happening:

I just — I’m making flaily hands here. Because before I watched that one, I watched this one, and this one, that happened while Tony was afflicted with a biotoxin (plague, actually), and this one, which just made me sort of weepy. Come on, folks, COME ON. On the SGA Scale Of Subtextual (Or Really, Not All That Subtextual God SGA Set Designers What Were You THINKING Giving John Floor-Length Glittery Gold Curtains With Fucking Tie-Backs) Homosexuality this totally rates at least a “Tao of Rodney.”

For those curious, I have been reccing good Gibbs/DiNozzo in the last few days, check in the del.icio.us sidebar or click on the link itself to get full tags and descriptions of the recced stories — worth your reading. Or you could forgo the entire exercise and keep watching those damn clips over and over again. Oy.

15 Responses to “I’m trying not to think about how sad it is that I have like, a barometer of media related homosexuality.”


  1. 1 MK May 7, 2007 at 1:14 pm

    The second youtube link doesn’t actually exist, it just says this link… but watching the other two made me remember all the amazing Gibbs/DiNozzo subtext. *_* So. Slashy. Definitely rates a Tao of Rodney.

    You’ll love this for a good long while right up until sometime in season 3 when the gay suddenly trickles off. There’s a little gay there, but for some reason after this thing happens to Tony… the slash kind of disappears. But don’t stop watching! It’s still great and there seems to be some possibilities still left, and the show carries itself, really.

    Also, I reallllly hope you start writing NCIS because the fandom could use some new and awesome fic. *_*

  2. 2 stillnoWPname May 7, 2007 at 4:01 pm

    smacking upside the hand = LOVE. Come on, it’s not even subtext on SGA. ;) And now that I watched those clips? I get why you got sucked into NCIS.

  3. 3 Spatz May 7, 2007 at 5:17 pm

    Have you seen the scene where Gibbs demonstrates how to snap a neck, Marine-style, clearly as an excuse to drop Tony onto the morgue floor and straddle him? Hotly? *fans self*

    I recently finished all seasons to present, and I’m impressed at the raging chemistry that everyone has with everyone else. You can literally sit down, draw lines between every main character, and go, “Yeah, I can totally see that!” It’s a ficcer’s dream.

  4. 4 Anonymous May 7, 2007 at 9:03 pm

    I saw that you’d recced one of ingenius_inc’s fics on your del.icio.us account–did you check out the other fic that she wrote for the ncis_ficathon? It’s called Issues With Confined Spaces and Rococo Lamps–http://community.livejournal.com/ncis_ficathon/14956.html#cutid1. Read it, and then go and beg her to write more, maybe she’ll listen to you. :)

  5. 5 bibliokat May 7, 2007 at 11:48 pm

    OMG Gibbs *pets* him and that’s one of the biggest grins I’ve ever seen on a guy afterwards!

  6. 6 Holly May 8, 2007 at 9:52 pm

    I’m glad you like the clips – I went on a tear last fall and ripped all of my favorites onto YouTube because, you know. GAY. Also, I was procrastinating like crazy.

  7. 7 tommygirl May 9, 2007 at 7:33 pm

    When I started ingesting NCIS episodes, I kept thinking, “surely, this cannot get any gayer.” But it gets better and better and I love the relationship between Gibbs/DiNozzo.

    My only complaint with a lot of the fanfiction I’ve stumbled upon though is that this fandom overall seems to have a great love of the word “lover.”

  8. 8 Anonymous May 14, 2007 at 9:21 am

    Dude, have you seen the episode in which Tony tells Gibbs he wants a divorce?

  9. 9 WOW March 29, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    Wow, I can’t believe that every thing has to be turned into something sexual or should I say homosexual. I really enjoy watching NCIS and I hope I’m permantly scarred be these perverse musings. I personally see the relationship as more a father/son or mentoring type without the “gay’ undertones. Come on people stop looking for these things in everything and just enjoy the show.

  10. 10 Azrael September 18, 2009 at 10:14 am

    TIBBS! Tony x Gibbs! HAWTNESS!!! Totally people, to satisfy your need of Tibbs, read fanfiction, wirte fanfiction, draw pictures, SOMETHING! This is total hawtness and shouldn’t be left untouched!

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East Coast Gazette has a terrible editorial focus and tends to use a lot of ALL CAPS but TOTALLY NOT BECAUSE OF HARRY POTTER. Stories in progress as well as snapshots will be listed in the "box full of snapshots" below, website archive for stories and assorted tomfoolery is glitterati.

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